


Birds of a Feather

by MonsterBoyf



Series: Vixx, But as Owls [2]
Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst, Friends With Benefits, Hybrids, M/M, Owl AU, Pining, Unhappy Ending, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-26 14:09:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20931503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MonsterBoyf/pseuds/MonsterBoyf
Summary: Detachment, that was the promise.





	Birds of a Feather

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry that angst has finally tainted me but hey, at least im trying new things? Feel free to yell or cry at me in the end.  
Hakyeon - snowy owl  
Taekwoon - North saw Whet owl  
Jaehwan - burrowing owl  
Wonshik - Great grey owl  
Hongbin - hawk owl  
Sanghyuk - barn owl

"Do you ever think about having a mate?" Wonshik asks the dreaded question as he stares up at Hongbin’s speckled ceiling. The hawk owl is currently buried in the elder's feathers, grooming over them with his teeth. He sits up to answer but continues the motion with his fingers. 

"God no. I thought you knew I was never the type for mates?" Wonshik tensed, taking a breath to ease himself and not give himself away. 

"I know! I'm the same way, but sometimes it crosses my mind. I was just seeing if I wasn't that weird." Hongbin hums, going back to using his teeth. He speaks with the feather in his mouth and Wonshik shudders. 

"I'm happy with our relationship. Takes care of the mating season without any pressure or stress of staying together." Wonshik gulped and nodded. He felt like he was sinking down into the bed, melting away into that headspace again. Hongbin's teeth preening his large feathers was nice, but it wasn't pleasant enough to fill the hole that just got punched in Wonshik's gut. Again. Hongbin had a talent for that, leaving Wonshik entirely immobile in his thoughts. Everything he said was unintentionally weaponized. Sometimes the blows were good, like when he ordered Wonshik around and took all that meaningless paranoia away. That was good. When he could just fall into his role and forget the situation, he was most content. Other days though, Hongbin's double edged words cut Wonshik to ribbons the size of the ones that tied them together in fate. When Hongbin argued, when he said that he never wanted this situation to change, that he had no qualms about the future, it wounded Wonshik's heart in a despicable poetic way.

Wonshik was a romantic, and Hongbin was a cynic who couldn’t read signs past his nose. He didn't question the proximity, the constant giving. Wonshik happily made himself Hongbin's doormat, secretly praying that maybe one day Hongbin would wake up and see how lonely he was. He could have Wonshik closer, he could let him into his true heart. Wonshik fantasized that scene for years. Hongbin throwing open his doors, apologizing for the  _ years _ of being distant while still touching Wonshik. Wonshik wouldn't even think to blame him. He'd just kiss the fool and thank whatever merciful God had finally spared him. The years continued to pass. There was no confession. There was no change in Hongbin. He was the same lonely cynic Wonshik had met so long ago. Wonshik had been the shoulder to cry on a multitude of times, the one Hongbin trusted most, and yet he couldn't be trusted with the heart. Wonshik had tried to find every little excuse. Maybe Hongbin just couldn't feel romantic attraction? Maybe he just loved Wonshik in his own way. That would be okay. Wonshik could support him in the discovery if it were the solution. It had never come to that though, and he was well aware Hongbin knew what aro meant. Maybe Wonshik wasn't good enough for a life mate. That stung, but he could accept it. He was immature, and weak. Didn't seem like the best traits for a permanent mate. There was no solution Wonshik could prove. All he could prove was that every time he and Hongbin went about this little routine, the grey owl was left more and more dissatisfied each time. He never rejected Hongbin though. This, the sex, it was all he had to be intimately close with the hawk owl. The sex was the only thing they shared that no one else did. 

"Dude, what's that face? Did I pull too hard?"

"No, sorry. I just got distracted." Wonshik wiped over his face and Hongbin hummed. He sat down on the bed, then nestled himself on the inside of Wonshik's wings. He looked like a grumpy baby swaddled in Wonshik's feathers. The elder smiled lightly staring at him. 

* * *

"I thought Jaehwan was nice," Wonshik started, leaning slightly towards Hongbin. Dinner went well. They met Hyuk's new boy toy, they got to make fun of the old married couple. It seemed like everyone was happy, finding their mates and living for the better. Everyone spoke up and finally got the love they wanted. Hakyeon finally performed his mating dance. Sanghyuk finally let himself fall into love. Wonshik… Wonshik did neither. He was so ready to love, but he did nothing. He said nothing to Hongbin, never tried to change. He was stationary while everyone was pushing forward. 

"He's okay. Kind of loud but he seems fun." Wonshik nodded. The world outside the car was dark. All that illuminated the couple was the intercom between them. The radio was playing faintly.

"We should all hang out together. I think you two will get along." Wonshik sounded like his father. 

"Maybe. Did you see him acting cutesy with Hyuk?" Wonshik gave a soulless chuckle. 

"Yes, yes I noticed the "'I wuv you Soooo much, Hwogi!'" he did.” Hongbin pretended to retch, and Wonshik naturally gave a real laugh. Hongbin was so delightful, funny, handsome, darling. He was so many other words. So many words that floated about Wonshik's head anytime he saw the hawk owl. 

"Can I… can I maybe stay over tonight?” Hongbin was leaning against the door, looking out into the rapidly passing darkness outside. 

“Shikkie, I’m tired.” Wonshik flushed. 

“Not like that. I just,” Wonshik searched for the words. What sounded the least suspicious? What was an excuse he could get away with? “I just don’t feel like going all the way home. Plus, I miss you. I only ever see you now when others are around.” Wonshik cast a nervous glance over at the hawk owl. He hadn’t budged. 

“Okay, just don’t wake me up in the morning.” Wonshik let out a breath, nearly ducking his head in silent prayer. 

“I won’t make a sound. Thank you, Binnie.” Hongbin just hummed. Wonshik had picked the best time to ask. Sleepy Hongbin was a docile Hongbin. It was one of the few ways Wonshik got his way. The car ride fell back into silence, and it wasn’t long before Hongbin fell asleep. Wonshik tried to avoid potholes. 

It was always so, so easy to fall in with Hongbin. It didn’t take anything for wonshik to just wrap his arms around the hawk owl and fall into bed with him. No great persuasion was needed for him to happily cling onto him and bury his face in the younger’s brown feathers. Wonshik would all do it in a heartbeat. Hongbin wasn’t complaining either. He closed his eyes as soon as his head hit those pillows. He nosed into Wonshik’s hair. The words, the admission, they were right on the tip of his tongue. He wanted so badly to confess and then just fall into a pleasant sleep with his love. He did not. He closed his eyes, wished Hongbin a good night, and then tried to force himself to sleep. One could dream, easily, here in Hongbin’s arms. One could easily forget the rest of the real world and pretend  _ this _ was reality. Wonshik regularly indulged in that little fantasy. He was content and exhausted in his mates arms. Their owlets were put to bed. The house was quiet. It was such a pleasant little dream. He loved it so. He loved it as he loved the hawk owl beneath him and his little sleepy sniffles. Hongbin would be such a great father. He was a child himself, but he knew how to be icy and cruel. He would be so good with owlets. He  _ was _ good with owlets. When Hakyeon and Taekwoon brought around their nieces and nephews, Hongbin lit up. He would spoil every single one of them, do braids, play games, carry around those cute enough to beg to be lifted up. Wonshik would help, mostly just to watch on with heart eyes. Uncle Hongbin was blessing that brought out Wonshik’s every urge for a mate, for a family. When the kids left, Wonshik was there to baby him. He’d tell him he did  _ so good with the little ones _ and that he’s  _ so sweet on them, he should have his own _ . Hongbin would just scoff and deny. He liked kids like he liked Badass. Enjoyable, so long as he wasn’t the sole provider. 

"Good morning, Bin," Wonshik greeted as Hongbin stomped out of his bed room. His hair was tousled, his cheek was pink, his glare was set. He was a divine angel on earth. Wonshik followed his every move like prey as the hawk owl moved into the kitchen for coffee. His wings stretched across the kitchen. Such a large wingspan, such great ability to protect Wonshik in his big strong wings. Wonshik was dazed, Hongbin was unamused. 

"I thought you had work." 

"It's bad out there, Bin. You don't want me to get hit, do you?" Hongbin grunted into his mug.  _ He meant well _ , Wonshik assured himself.  _ He just had a hard time showing it _ . 

"I'm just waiting for them to plow, then I'll get out of your nest." 

"Alright." Hongbin moved to the living room with his mug. Wonshik gulped as he passed. The words were on the tip of his tongue. He could grab his arm and confess. The confession was tattooed to the inside of his lips though. It sat so long it tarnished his teeth and cut his tongue. He was in pain keeping it inside. He was surprised by whenever they spoke his mouth didn't pour with blood every time he edged on the confession. It was so, so common for him. Wonshik didn't grab Hongbin. He let him walk to the couch, turning on the TV.

"Sanghyuk and his boyfriend invited us on a dinner date again," Wonshik spoke gently, fidgeting with his phone as he watched Hongbin game. He felt so cold. He wanted to move in closer to Hongbin and his slightly spread wings. 

"They are aware we're off right now, right?" Needles to Wonshik's heart. He shrugged, now finding it much easier to look at the screen and not Hongbin. No good in him seeing the pain. 

"Yeah. They're just being friendly. We're still their friends." Hongbin hummed. His claws moved so fast on the controller. 

"I guess. I hope they don't mean tonight." He glanced out the apartment window, looking to the snow piled so high on the sill it was almost completely obscured. 

"No, no they said next week. Sanghyuk knows how anti-social you are." Hongbin spared a breath and an upturn of his lips. Wonshik naturally smiled after. A dazzling smile Hongbin had. It was Wonshik's sun and stars. They continued in silence. 

“Hongbin, can I- can I ask you something?” Wonshik was standing in the doorway, pulling on his coat. The crinkle of the fabric was much too loud on his body ram wracked with nerves. Hongbin didn’t even look up. 

“Yeah, of course.” Wonshik looked to his hands. They were clammy. His throat felt all clamped up too. He tried not to speak in the quietest voice he had. He couldn’t say it twice. He knew he’d give up if he had to do that. 

“I want us to go on a date. Together.” 

“Didn’t Sanghyuk invite us on a double date?” Hongbin paused the game, putting down his controller so he could focus on Wonshik. Oh god, that made it so much worse. Wonshik kept his eyes glued to his feet, chin practically in his chest. 

“I want to mate you.” The silence was deafening. Wonshik was shaking. Tightening up his muscles to try and stop it just made it worse. Hongbin’s stare, his unresponsiveness, was a weight crushing down on Wonshik’s shoulders. The grey owl subtly shielded himself with his wings, as though they would stop verbal blows. Please Hongbin, please just say something. 

“What?”

“I want… I want to be your mate.”

“Why?” Wonshik took a breathe. Choke down those tears coming up. 

“We’ve- I’ve been with you for years. Hongbin, I can’t just- just act like it's nothing anymore.” Looking up to give the hawk owl pleading eyes was a mistake. His expression was blank, unrelenting in its icy aura. 

“How long?”

“A-a few months? Maybe a year…?” 

“Wonshik..” The grey owl had to wince at that. His tone. It was like he was talking to a little boy crying over a simple mistake and it made Wonshik’s insides twist. 

“I know. I know what we said.” A sudden misplaced burst of anger. “I can’t help it though, Hongbin. I can’t help how I feel and I should have never agreed to this but I did; and goddammit, please just take my feelings into serious consideration for once!” He realized after he got it out that he was shouting. He probably looked like the petulant child Hongbin sounded like he was addressing. Wonshik’s hands were balled as fists at his sides and at the height of his cry he had stomped from the excess of frustration. Silence fell again. The anger was replaced with guilt. Wonshik hid further in his wings, nearly entirely around him now. 

“When have I not?” Now he sounded affronted. Wonshik wanted to go slip on the ice on the road and crash so he could die and never have to acknowledge any of this happening again. 

“You know what I’m like. Did you really think this wasn’t going to happen?” 

“You made  _ vehemently _ clear that you thought you could handle it.”

“Because I was lonely Hongbin! I had a perfect opportunity right at my feet! You think I was thinking of the long game?” 

“So I was a means to an end?” Wonshik's head snapped up. 

“That’s not what I meant!” 

“That’s sure what it sounds like. A little white lie so you can benefit in the end.” Hongbin was looking off distantly at the wall in front of him. That familiar disappointed, passive aggressive huff. 

“Hongbin, that is not what I meant. You know that!” Hongbin shrugged, still not gracing Wonshik with even a glance. 

“Doesn’t matter. You know I don’t work that way.” Wonshik’s claws were digging into his palms with how tight he clenched his fists.

“The only person making you stick to those traditions is you. I’m the same way as you but look at me.” Hongbin gave him such a tired face. 

“Wonshik, I am not you.”

“Did you really never feel anything? All this time?” 

“Wonshik-”

“Tell me. Tell me whether or not you ever felt anything.”

“You know you don’t want to know the answer.”

“Tell me.” They stared, just looked at each other in silence. Someone would give in. 

“No.” Wonshik went slack. He nodded, curt. He grabbed his keys from the hook beside him. Hongbin stared at the door, the slam of it still ringing in his ears. He didn’t move from that spot. 

Wonshik had no idea where he was going. His feet naturally followed the sidewalk as the tears finally fell. They nearly froze once he reached the outside air. He should have expected it. He had told himself it was an option, so why was he still so hurt? Why did his heart feel like it had grown its own claws and was intending on ripping out of his chest to bleed all over the fresh snow? Wonshik rubbed his face on his sleeve, choking on a sob and the icy air. His feet had lead him to his car. He got in without considering any of the motions. He grabbed the steering wheel and put his forehead on it. His tears dropped onto it and then rolled off. Minor details in the crushing heartbreak. Wonshik didn’t put in the key to turn on the heat. He didn’t know if he was shivering from sobs or from the cold. It had to at least be zero out. Cold enough to freeze to the bone and maybe fill the cracks in Wonshik’s heart with ice. The heart Hongbin had picked up and promptly thrown to the ground with icy indifference. Wonshik punched the seat beside him, trying to release the pent up energy. He wanted to break something. He wanted to blow through a room like a hurricane. He wanted to breakdown in the street in tears. He collected himself before turning on the car. He drove in silence. His wings were puffed, on edge. 

“Wonshik? Shikkie, what happened? Why are you out here with this weather?!” The grey owl was immediately shepherded into Hakyeon’s house. He knew how he looked. His eyes were blood-shot, his feathers were askew, his hands were bloody from where his claws had cut his skin. Hakyeon sat him on the couch and fretted over him. 

“You look like you’ve been crying. Shikkie, what happened?”

“Hongbin doesn’t love me.” Hakyeon froze, looking at Wonshik with wide eyes. How catastrophic he understood that to be was clear on his face. His voice was barely a whisper. 

“I’m so sorry, Shik…” Wonshik didn’t even have the strength to cry anymore. He felt dead. Absolutely numb. The ice really had filled the cracks. 

“I told him how I feel. We got in an argument and I… I asked him if he ever had feelings for me.”

“Oh god..”

“He said no. He looked me dead in the eyes and told me no.” That wave of warmth was blanketing Wonshik again. He spoke without consideration. “He didn’t even try to soften the blow. There was no “I hate your guts, but..” no, he looked at me like I meant nothing to him and told me no. I have loved him for years and yet he can pretend I don't even matter. I hate him. I hate his fucking attitude and I hate that I still fucking love him. I,” Wonshik took a deep breath, trying to gather himself. “Hakyeon, do you have anything I can break?” The snow owl blinked at him before rising. He came back to the living room a moment later with a cardboard box. 

“I don’t know how much it will help, but I was getting rid of this stuff anyway. Rip and smash whatever will help.” Despite the wrath towards his item of affection, Wonshik actually looked at what was in the box with care. Useless little things, some clothes. “Here.” Hakyeon took a novel from the box and started to rip out the pages, furiously so. Wonshik watched in mild surprise before following Hakyeon’s example. He grabbed some home magazine and nearly ripped it in half as is, directly through the spine. It was cathartic, but not enough so. It didn't soothe Wonshik’s urge to scream at and pummel Hongbin. He stood, grabbing a small glass vase from the box. Hakyeon yelped and covered his head as Wonshik chucked it at the wall opposite to them. The glass shattered and fell to the floor. The wall was left surprisingly unaffected. Wonshik felt alive though.

“What the hell is going on, Hakyeon?!” Taekwoon’s voice came in from the hallway. An answer wasn’t needed when he saw the sorry state Hakyeon’s living room was in. Wonshik didn’t even notice him. He was focused on destroying what he could and venting these disgusting emotions burning him from the inside out. He ripped through a shirt with his claws.

By the time he was done, the living room was covered in debris and trash. He laid on the couch with his head on Taekwoon's lap. Despite his attitude, he was gentle. Taekwoon was all venom and ice and yet he knew when to drop it. He knew when to spare compassion. Unlike someone. 

"Did that help at all, Shikkie?" Hakyeon spoke. He was cleaning up the mess, putting the glass shards in a paper bag. He refused any apologies from Wonshik for his snowstorm of feelings and destruction. 

"Yeah." 

"How do you feel now?" Taekwoon asked, fingertips trailing Wonshik's cheek. The grey owl stared off at the wall. 

"Tired." 

"You can sleep here if you like. You're always welcome to stay as long as you need." Hakyeon offered a gentle smile to Wonshik, trying to be motherly.

"Thank you." 

"Hakyeon, the dinner." Hakyeon looked up to his mate confused before understanding what he was referring to. 

"Sanghyuk invited us over for dinner tonight. You don't have to come but some company-"

"Sure." 

"Really?" Wonshik sat up, rolling his shoulders. 

"Yeah. I either pretend he doesn't exist or stay here and sleep and cry on your couch." Taekwoon's hand came to Wonshik's hair, caressing. 

"Whatever helps, Shik." Hakyeon stood, throwing what he had gathered away. After, he came to stand in front of Wonshik. He easily forced Wonshik's wings back, to relax instead of forming a shield around him. He brushed bangs back and gently ran thumbs over his face. It made Wonshik feel like a little boy. A heartbroken boy with mother looming over him and coddling. 

"You will get through this, Wonshik. I'll fix you up and we'll have a nice dinner with our friends and then we can go murder Hongbin as a family." Wonshik snorted. He spared the slightest of smiles. 

"Thank you, Hakyeon." 

When the three arrived, Wonshik all primed thanks to Hakyeon, the grey owl was immediately taken into a hug by Sanghyuk. Wonshik put his head in Sanghyuk's neck, a deep sigh leaving him. 

"I'm sorry, man." Wonshik pulled away, a weak smile. 

"It's alright. What'd you make?" Sanghyuk clapped Wonshik's shoulder before heading for the kitchenette. As he explained how he and Jaehwan nearly burnt down the apartment, the heartache briefly alleviated. Birds of a feather were what he needed.

**Author's Note:**

> contact Info:  
[Tumblr](https://minoru-hayashi.tumblr.com)  
[Twitter](https://twitter.com/russ__Ant)  
[DA](https://www.deviantart.com/rus-ant)  
[Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/russ__Ant)  



End file.
